A Love Untold

This story is from an email that someone forwarded me way back when I was in high school. This story taught me to be brave enough to admit to someone that I love him, because you never know if you're letting someone slip from your grasp just because your too afraid to say how you feel.

- 10th Grade -

As I sat there in our English class, I stare at the girl next to me. She was my so-called “best friend”. I stare at her long, silky hair, and wish she was mine. But she didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it.

After the class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes that she missed the day before. I handed them to her; she said thanks and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

I want to tell her
I want her to know
That I don’t want us to be just friends
I love her
But I’m just too shy
And I don’t know why…

- 11th Grade -

The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn’t want to be alone; so I did.

As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said “thanks”, and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

I want to tell her
I want her to know
That I don’t want us to be just friends
I love her
But I’m just too shy
And I don’t know why…

- Senior Year -

The day before the prom she walked to my locker. “My date is sick”, she said, “he’s not gonna go”. Well I didn’t have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us have dates, we would go together just as “best friends”. So we did.

- Prom Night -

After everything was over, I was standing at her front doorstep. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she doesn’t think of me like that, and I knew it. Then she said – “I had the best time! Thanks!” and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

I want to tell her
I want her to know
That I don’t want us to be just friends
I love her
But I’m just too shy
And I don’t know why…

A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her body floated like an angel up on the stage to get her diploma. I want her to be mine, but she doesn’t think of me like that, and I knew it.

Before everyone went home, she came to me with her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, “You’re my best friend, thanks!” and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

I want to tell her
I want her to know
That I don’t want us to be just friends
I love her
But I’m just too shy
And I don’t know why…

Now I sit on the pews of the church. That girl is getting married to another man. I watched her say “I do” and drive off to her new life, married to someone else. I wanted her to be mine, but she doesn’t think of me like that, and I knew it.

But before she drove away, she came to me and said “You came! Thanks!” and kissed me on the cheek.

I want to tell her
I want her to know
That I don’t want us to be just friends
I love her
But I’m just too shy
And I don’t know why…

Years passed. I look down at the coffin of the girl who used to be my “best friend”.

At the service, they read a diary entry she wrote in her high school years. This is what it read :

I stare at him wishing he was mine
But he doesn’t notice me like that, and I knew it
I want to tell him
I want him to know
That I don’t want us to be just friends
I love him
But I’m just too shy
And I don’t know why…
I wish he would tell me he love me!

“I wish I did too…” I thought to myself, and cried.

My Sad Love Story

Shit happens. That’s what I have in mind right now. Sometimes, when you feel like everything’s going smoothly, something’s going to come up and remind you that, hey, don’t expect too much, you might just get hurt in the long run. It’s true.

Well let me tell you a story about me, my best friend and the guy that we both fell in love with…

Anne and I have been best friends since high school. She’s actually like the sister I never had. We’re so close and we enjoy doing things together. We may seem alike but we are so different in many ways.

Anne is like a child. She is an anime addict, an aspiring cartoonist. Her mannerism, the way she speaks, sometimes even the way she thinks can be compared to those anime characters she watch on TV. She tends to be loner at times and she’s not into boys. To her, boys are just meant to be her friends. She even scares them sometimes. She tends to punch them, make fun of them. But that’s just her. She even believes that she’s never going to get married.

I’m the typical girl, on the other hand. I am a bit aggressive and I interact well with other people. I like dressing up, putting nail polish on my finger nails; I like watching cheesy movies and singing love songs. I often have crushes from time to time. I tend to follow them around when I see them – a stalker in the making, hehehe…

We studied in different universities when we finished high school. After a couple of years, I had to stop studying and work while she is still finishing her degree. We don’t get to talk much anymore, and we had different sets of friends. We’re drifting apart. It’s sad, but we move in a different world then.

Then one, really boring night, I texted Anne. I told her I needed a text mate, and if she could give me one, it’d be cool. She gave me the number of one of her best friends (in college) that she tagged as “playboy”. Well, she said that she and her other friends would like to teach this guy a lesson and that my timing was really great. She said that I may be the perfect girl for the act since I’ve had quite a number of relationships before. She thought I wouldn’t fall for him.

And so I began to text him, befriend him, and the whole flirting and the relationship itself took almost 2 weeks only (by the way, his name is Kevin). After some time we decided that we should meet. And the day after that we met again and something happened between us. The next day, we broke up – in bad terms. He said I was too kind and too good for him, I thought “piece of shit”. I was pretty devastated because I realized that at the span of 2 weeks I fell in love with Kevin.

Anne knows about the incident. She knows what happened and how I got hurt. She blamed herself because of that but I told her that it wasn’t her fault. We got closer again though, which was nice.

After a few months I found out I was pregnant. Just when I was starting to live my normal life again, just when I was starting to move on… I told Anne about this and I made her promise not to tell Kevin about it. I began the process of living my life as a single mom. I bore his child, gave birth and raised my child with the help of my family. Except for Anne, nobody knows who the father of my child was, not even my parents. I have no plans of telling them, and I don’t even plan on telling Kevin that we have a child. Anne did though, but it didn’t really matter to me then.

Anne finished her degree and she and her family had to migrate to another country. I was sad because she’ll be half way around the world from me; I’ll surely miss my best friend.

The night before she left, I decided to spend the night at her house. We talked, and then she admitted that she feels like she’s in love. She feels guilty for feeling that way. I asked why, and who’s the lucky guy. She was hesitant to tell me at first but I got her to admit that it was Kevin whom she is in love with. I told her that it’s OK. I told her that I don’t have any feelings for Kevin anymore, and at that moment, it was true. I told her that I knew all along and that I’ve predicted (somehow) that it will happen. I was happy for her.

A few hours before she left for the airport, Kevin called. He wants to say goodbye to her. Anne let me eavesdrop and I heard that Kevin was crying. At that instant, I knew Kevin is in love with her as well. I felt glad, because at least, my best friend’s first love is not going to be as tragic as mine.

When the time came that Anne needed to fix her things already, she gave me the phone and allowed me to talk to Kevin. At first, he didn’t know what to say. But after a while we were able to, in a manner of speaking, patch things up between us. We apologized for everything that were said and the spite that we felt for each other. It felt good.

And so my best friend left. Kevin and I started to get along again. We text each other from time to time; we became close. We always talk about Anne and our daughter. We meet when we have time and we always have a very good time. He once told me that before Anne left, he made a promise to her that he will take care of me while she’s away. He cares for me, and I’m flattered.

Then one crazy afternoon, we did something that we know we shouldn’t do… again. After that, I know that even if I deny it to myself, I’m in love with him. I came to realize that the more I get to know the person that he really is, the more I fall for him. I felt terrible because I know I’m not supposed to feel that way. My best friend loves Kevin and I know that they feel the same for each other however they deny it. I shouldn’t mess things up anymore.

I tried to stay away from Kevin but it’s hard. So I just let myself fall for him, not thinking of the consequences this might bring. It made me happy and I began to wish that it would last. I never thought how painful it would be when the time comes that I need to face reality.

That time came sooner than I expected. He told me that he’s in love. He tried to joke about it but I was able to squeeze the truth from him. He told me that finally he was able to confess to the girl he loves about the feelings he has for her – the girl he was talking about is Anne.

It was then that I have realized that the thing I have feared most has come. Having to love someone whom your best friend loves is terrible. But what’s more painful is the fact that you have to let go of someone for them to be happy. I may say that I’m OK, but it’s killing me. Sacrifice is never easy. But it’s my only choice. They both mean so much to me and I can’t bear to see them suffer just because of me. I have to move on, I know.